|G.I. Joe vs. the Transformers II > Issue #1|
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Cobra Commander's plan to capture a Cybertronian supercomputer goes just about as wrong as wrong can get.
Cobra has slowly begun to reform itself, trading Cybertronian arms on the black market. G.I. Joe has begun integrating such technology into its own arsenal, and has tracked a weapons dealing ring back to the Dreadnoks.
In a Boston warehouse, a team of shadowy operatives bursts in on a weapons deal meeting, prompting the Dreadnoks to unveil their new cybernetic limbs. Even with their enhancements, however, Beachhead, Scarlett and Stalker make short work of them. Spirit singlehandedly stops an escaping truck, but its cargo, an armored car, bursts out. Spirit's backup team immobilizes it, prompting the driver to pop up its primary cannon. The driver has about five seconds to exult before his gun is crushed by a Snake Eyes-piloted mech suit. The Joes have rolled up the entire case: buyers, hardware, and Dreadnoks.
The next morning, Cobra Commander pays a visit to the country estate of Destro, now hiding out in Portugal. Destro is still sore at CC, so the Commander gets right to the point. He's learned of a wormhole that has been opened by researchers in Boston, connecting Earth and Cybertron. The wormhole depends on Teletran 3, a Cybertronian supercomputer. The computer connects a network of wormholes on Cybertron, allowing instantaneous transport across the planet. Using his ace in the hole, the subservient Starscream, Cobra Commander intends to capture the computer and use it to open his own wormhole network on Earth. Destro agrees to fund the venture, but insists that he's coming along, bringing his own people, and that CC will be there too. Destro orders his butler to close down the house as he and Cobra Commander begin to talk logistics.
The butler, however, walks out and dives off a cliff into the ocean. Chuckles pulls off his disguise and calls in his report to the other Joes.
On Cybertron, the Decepticons have nearly conquered the planet under Shockwave's leadership; Prime and company have returned home to become resistance fighters. Prime, Ironhide and Jazz have a narrow escape as they steal a load of energon. Shockwave, leading troops against them, is unconcerned; he's got bigger fish to fry.
The following night in Boston, the Joes storm the research center where the wormhole has been opened. Cobra Commander panics and orders his troops to fire; the Joes fire back—and the computer, damaged, teleports everyone present to Cybertron. Before Cobra Commander can even try to secure Teletran 3, the computer's malfunction continues, and tendrils of energy zap various Cybertronians away.
Shockwave arrives with Decepticon troops, and is about to kill the humans, when Ultra Magnus and Perceptor drop in. Magnus activates a force field to protect the humans, the computer, and the Autobots. Perceptor secures Starscream, and the group tries to make sense out of what just happened.
The two Autobots were drawn here by a temporal/spatial disturbance. A massive malfunction has sent a random number of Cybertronians to Earth, and "cracked the timestream" as well. If they are not retrieved, temporal feedback will wash the Earth with fire, stripping it of all life. To make matters worse, Magnus's field can only hold the Decepticons at bay for about twelve hours. With Magnus and Perceptor occupied, the humans are the only ones who can save Earth by retrieving the missing Transformers. The Joes call a truce with Cobra (via Destro).
Four teams are sent after four groups of Cybertronians. The Transformers have been filtered through a camouflage protocol, meaning they've scanned local forms and become locked into those modes. Perceptor has fashioned tracking devices that will lead the humans to them, as well as disruption units to reboot their operating systems. Once all the Transformers are rebooted, they will be able to return to the present. Then they'll worry about the army of Decepticons surrounding their position.
The first team—Lady Jaye, Zartan, Storm Shadow, and Snake Eyes—warps away and finds themselves in the early-to-mid-1970s. After disguising themselves to "fit in", they find their first target, a white Caddy with a total pimp hanging out next to it. The team applies a disruption unit, and Jazz transforms. After some explanations, Jazz provides transportation to their next target, a car in a junkyard that turns out to be Bumblebee. Lady Jaye shoots down Zartan's suggestion to just snipe the owners of the third target; instead, Jaye challenges him to a race in Jazz, leading him to a warehouse where the fourth target awaits. A group of cops awaits as well, in the middle of a bust. The team activates both their remaining targets—Hot Rod and Blitzwing, the latter of who tries to attack, only to get zapped away as Lady Jaye returns them to the present with the press of a button.
The second team—Roadblock, Beach Head, the Baroness and a Cobra trooper—materialize on a dingy street, and are nearly run down by a pair of cars, whose occupants are firing tommy guns at each other...
- Release date: September 15, 2004
(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)
"You in the tank. Cease fire immediately. If you do not cease fire, we will be forced to--"
"--Hey! You didn't let me finish! I swear, Snake, you're having way too much fun with that thing.
- —anonymous Joe in a mech suit, vs. a very exposed Cobra gunner.
"What? What's the problem?"
"Listen, you three are young enough, you weren't really involved... but I had to deal with leisure suits and pet rocks for a whole decade."
- —Zartan and Lady Jaye, the former reacting to being back in the 1970s.
"Um... could someone please explain exactly what the hell just happened to me?"
"It's a long story, and we truly don't have time to stand here while I explain it to you. In fact, if I think about it too much, I get the urge to go into fits of insane giggles."
- —Jazz and Lady Jaye
"Right. Any more questions?"
"Yeah. Why does everyone get to transform into big, fancy cars but me? This sucks."
- —Jazz and Bumblebee, the latter reformatted into a... something.
Zartan: "Grand. She gets to pretend she's in a Steve McQueen movie. Naturally we're stuck in the soapbox derby car."
Storm Shadow: "Who's Steve McQueen?"
- Wheeljack's distinctive profile is shown among the Transformers getting zapped off the planet. But he's not among any of the groups recovered by the humans in this or other issues; in fact, apart from a red herring appearance on the cover of the following issue, he's never seen in the Devil's Due continuity again.
Items of note
- Cobra Commander has somehow gone from a grudging partnership with Starscream at the end of the last series, to total dominance over him. How isn't made clear.
- Chuckles wears his ridiculous Hawaiian shirt underneath his butler tuxedo. WTF.
- Prime and the others have been reconfigured, no longer transforming into Cobra vehicles. Prime's design bears a slight resemblance to his The War Within form (though the cylindrical structures at his shoulders do not appear to be wheels). Ironhide is closer to his G1 cartoon appearance.
- Even unmasked, Snake Eyes wears a brimmed hat that magically keeps his face in shadow at all times similar to a Marvel issue that explored his, Stalker's and Storm Shadow's tour of duty in Vietnam.
- Period alternate modes shown in this issue include:
- Jazz = white Lincoln coupe (or possibly a Cadillac, based on the headlights)
- Bumblebee = yellow Ford Pinto (or similar)
- Hot Rod = red Ford Mustang muscle car
- Blitzwing = private commuter jet, probably a Lear
- Pretty much everything about this entire issue is awesome.
|Specifics: alt cover|
- Cover A: by Su, Seeley, Pepoy & Smith.
- Cover B: Features Cobra Commander, Starscream, and Storm Shadow's mech, by Su, Seeley, Pepoy & Smith.
- Cover C: by Nick Bradshaw.
- Cover D: by Mike Norton & Jeremy Roberts.
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