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This Is Why I Hate Machines

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TFA Fanzone in Cybertron

Makin' it in the big city.

Fanzone gets sucked into the space bridge causing him to enter Cybertron. However, everyone who lives there wants to step on him.

Japanese title: "Fanzone Goes to Planet Cybertron" (ファンゾーン、サイバトロン星へ行くFanzone, Seibatron-Sei e Iku)


Ratchet is (or at least trying to) working on the Autobot's spacebridge. Fanzone comes up the elevator and is trying to get a hold of Isaac Sumdac because of the security bots going haywire. When Ratchet finally gets the spacebridge to work, Fanzone is sucked into it. Ratchet follows him in so he can see if he actually found Omega Supreme. It turns out they didn't make it to Omega, but to Cybertron!

TFA Tracks

More dull surprises. Classic.

All of the Autobots there are disgusted when they see Fanzone. One of them actually tries to squish him, but fails. Ratchet picks up Fanzone and drives off. When Ratchet stops at an oil bar, he finds out that it has been closed due to all of the Decepticon "activity" in the area. Then they see an animated billboard of Sentinel talking about this "activity" and what you should do if you see anything suspicious. Sentinel then confronts the two and tells them that it's against the law to bring an organic to Cybertron. It's also against the law to be using transwarp machines. Ratchet explains that there is no transwarper here, and that the thunderstorm combined with Omega's presence somewhere over Cybertron must have created a transwarp field. Then, out of the blue, Omega shows up in the sky with Megatron, Starscream, and Lugnut inside.

What the?

What's this? What's this? There's magic in the air!

They make their way back to the Union (Sentinel Prime, Jazz, Jetfire, Jetstorm, Ratchet, and Fanzone) to discuss what to do about Omega's presence. Sentinel suggests that they open fire on Omega, when the Union says they should fall back. Ratchet says they should not open fire due to the danger of Omega exploding from transwarp energy and doing a lot of damage to cybertron, and Sentinel call him a traitor. Jetfire and Jetstorm attempt to stasis cuff him, but Fanzone sneezes on them. After Ratchet and Fanzone make their getaway, Ratchet decides to go to the underground tunnels to escape from Sentinel. On the way, Ratchet says that no bot has been down there since the Great Wars. It turns out that a bot has been down here recently and probably is still down here. They are confronted by Shockwave with Magnus' hammer in his servo...

Shockwave explains that he needs the access codes for Omega Supreme. Of course, Ratchet refuses. After a brief fight, Shockwave sends Ratchet off the side of the railing and says that he still will get the information. Ratchet gets back on the deck and says that they need to go to the Elite Guard Infirmary. On the way, an Autobot gives Ratchet a card for the infirmary after Fanzone threatens to blow snot at him. When they get to the infirmary, they find out that not only was the card bogus, but Jazz was following them since they left the Union building. He gives Ratchet his card for the infirmary and tells him that he's gotta do what he's gotta do. Or at least something to the gist of that. When they finally get in, they find Arcee on an operating gurney, and Ratchet puts Fanzone on the gurney and starts to push away when Shockwave shows up again.

He hits Ratchet with Magnus' hammer and sends him flying down the hall. After another brief fight, Ratchet gets Fanzone and Magnus' hammer. Sadly, Shockwave flies off with Arcee back to Omega Supreme. The Union gives the two a "job well done" although they did lose Arcee. As Perceptor adds," The damage done to her processor was irreversible". Ratchet and Fanzone leave WITH the hammer back to earth. Sentinel gets p r e t t y mad when the Union tells him that his move with Fortress Maximus was foolish and that he never should have opened fire. When Ratchet and Fanzone return to Earth, they find Jazz has followed them. Having had enough of Sentinel, Jazz chooses to join the Autobots on Earth.

TFA Arcee remebering

And I think to myself...What a wonderful world.

In the end, Shockwave goes back on Omega Supreme. Shockwave says "At long last I serve you, my liege, under my true colors" and turns purple. Megatron says "Rise, Shockwave: my most loyal servant!". Lugnut gets so mad that he starts to shake in rage and jealousy. In the end, Arcee is lying on a bench of sorts on Omega. She looks out at earth and says "Ratchet" hinting that maybe her memory isn't so fragged after all...

Featured characters

(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

Autobots Decepticons Humans


Captain Fanzone: The only thing I hate worse than machines is Tech Support for machines!

—Captain Fanzone after being put on hold.

Ratchet: Okay, that's probably not good...

—Ratchet after Fanzone gets sucked into the space bridge gate.

Captain Fanzone: I'd be a happier man if I never saw another...robot?

—Welcome to Cybertron, Fanzone.

Tracks: It's organic!

—Tracks' first encounter of a human.

Megatron: No Autobot would be foolish enough to fire on their greatest weapon.
(Meanwhile, in the Autobot Council chambers)
Sentinel Prime I say we fire on Omega Supreme!

—Megatron didn't count on the stupidity of Sentinel Prime

Captain Fanzone: That Sentinel clown looked like he could use a good kick in the can.

—Fanzone telling it like it is.

Shockwave: I'm afraid I can't let you do that.

—Shockwave, about to hammer down Dave Ratchet and Fanzone.

Ratchet: You may have Omega Supreme, but he would never attack Cybertron!
Shockwave: That's the beauty of activation codes. They wipe clean of all that unpleasant morality.

—Shockwave, revealing Megatron's plans of using Omega Supreme against the Autobots.

Captain Fanzone: So, what are we looking for here?
Ratchet: Let's just say that everything you need to know is behind this door.
(Ratchet opens med bay, only to reveal an unconscious Arcee.)
Captain Fanzone: Uh, right. Sure. Robot dame in a room. Explains everything!

—Captain Fanzone is clueless, while Ratchet reveals the source of Omega Supreme's activation codes.

Shockwave: You're fighting rather bravely for nothing but a shelved piece of empty hardware.
Ratchet: She's got a name: Arcee. And if you think you can bring her back, then maybe I can too!
Shockwave: How noble. Pity you won't get the opportunity to find out!

—Ratchet vs. Shockwave: Who will get to Arcee first?

Shockwave: You're a tough old model aren't you? Maybe it's time to retire!

—Shockwave doesn't know when he's beaten when he's fighting a war veteran...

Captain Fanzone: This is why I hate machines. Certain machines more than others.

—Fanzone telling off Sentinel Magnus, after pulling himself out of a pile of rubble.

Captain Fanzone: I get mixed up in a war, nearly stepped on, blasted, buried and possibly zapped into space, and now, you just made me an accomplice to intergalactic grand theft!
Security Bot: Halt, you are under arrest.
(Ratchet blows up the malfunctioning bot, then grins at Fanzone while flexing his weapon.)
Captain Fanzone: Let's say we call it even.

—Fanzone summing up the episode in a nutshell.

Sentinel Prime: And I'd do it again if it meant saving Cybertron.
Alpha Trion: If it were up to me alone, you would NEVER get that chance.

—No love lost between Sentinel and Alpha Trion.

Shockwave: At long last, I serve you, my liege, under my true colors.
(Shockwave turns to his original colors, resembling his G1 counterpart)
Megatron: Rise, Shockwave, my most loyal servant.

—Looks like Lugnut has competition.

Arcee: Ratchet... (looks like her memory isnt so screwed after all)

Other Notes

Animation and/or technical glitches

  • Ratchet's few-seconds long flashback to his battle with Lockdown during the war is noticably not clouded as flashbacks usually are. AND they don't make him stare into oblivion anymore.

Continuity errors

  • So if Jazz really was following Ratchet and Fanzone in the tunnels, then why didn't he help when Shockwave first attacked Ratchet?

Transformer references

Rattletrap with Saliva

We're all gonna die

  • Shockwave dons his "true colors", literally, which is the color scheme of his G1 namesake and his Target-exclusive redeco toy. This is awesome.
  • Rattletrap is an obvious homage to Rattrap.

Real-world references

  • The billboard showcasing what to do if suspicious activity is seen is similar to both war propaganda and the novel "1984" by George Orwell.
  • We now know who Trillian is.
  • Megatron's ploy to transwarp Omega Supreme above a heavily populated city and ensuing shell game with the Council and Elite Guard appear to be a nod to "The Super Dimension Fortress Macross" episodes "Space Fold" and "Burst Point".

Miscellaneous trivia

  • This episode was originally going to be replaced with a planned episode "Downtown Blackout", which feature Team Chaar. But this episode was aired instead for some reason.
  • When Shockwave attempts to extract activation codes from Ratchet, he replies, "You'll have to download them from my cold, offline processor", similar to how he defended Sari's AllSpark-enhanced Key: "You'll have to pry it from my cold, offline servos."
  • Sentinel and Jazz are seen with in their earth alt-mode forms, which makes sense for Jazz. Sentinel on the other hand switched back when he learned that Ultra Magnus was keeping his own earth mode. You can thank the Allspark Almanac for that info!
  • It seems Arcee's memory has been repairing itself over the last few million stellar-cycles.
    • Arcee also seems to have aged quite well over the last few million stellar-cycles, unlike some other bots.
      • Even though Wyatt himself said that the robots don't age...
  • Lugnut is visibly irked by Megatron referring to Shockwave as his most loyal servant. And Starscream's obviously loving it!
  • For his ad, Sentinel shows a picture of their half-dead former leader as an example of what could happen if they trusted a Decepticon. Ouch.
    • Not only that, but the ad somehow has pictures of Megatron, Starscream, Lugnut and Shockwave. How the slag did he manage to get those?
  • At the end of the episode, Jazz joins Optimus's crew on Earth. It was probably only a matter of time anyway, given the circumstances.
  • This is the only episode where Optimus Prime does not make an appearance in this series whereas before he was the only character to appear in every episode by far. Bulkhead, Bumblebee and Prowl do not appear either. It is also the only episode featuring four absent main Autobots.
  • Sari is absent, too. Big surprise.
  • Sentinal Prime had indirectly stated Autobots have moms.
  • This is the second appearance of Shockwave's tank mode. The first time we saw it was in Transwarped when he shot at Blurr.
  • Sentinel is still the biggest slagging jerk in all the history of Cybertron.
    • It seems to be getting worse, too.
    • It's possible Sentinel's fear mongering is the cause for most Cybertronian's fear of "The Organic", or maybe racism is innate to the masses, and Sentinel is down one unique personality trait.
    • Although his idea of actually doing something about the huge robot carrying around a bunch of Decepticons is still better than the council's decision to debate it out.
  • In the crowd scenes, a LOT of bots that share Bumblebee's character model can be seen. It must be a pretty slagging popular model.
  • When Grandus was told to step on Fanzone, he immediately does so. Yet, when Fanzone climbs into Ratchet's ambulance mode, he states that "He touched it". Doesn't stepping on something mean you're touching it?
  • Do any of the Decepticons know and/or care what happened to Blackarachnia? Probably not. She never was a team player anyway.

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